008: screaming into pillows / ooh, heaven is a place online

Written By nins & arns

in this episode, arns invites listeners to feel their feelings and access expansion through Victoria Song's Bending Reality. nins finds solace from grief through laughter with TikTok comedian Taryn Smith's "The Heaven Receptionist" skit.

CONTENT WARNING: grief, loss

referenced in this episode:

0:00 - intro
10:55 - arns: Bending Reality by Victoria Song
29:57 - nins: Taryn Smith's "The Heaven Receptionist"

episode summary

intro

They’re baaack! Nins and Arns open up by re-explaining the brb crying thesis: “This is a podcast where we realize how often we come across things that make us cry and it's actually pretty cool and we kind of just just shove it in your faces week after week till you're convinced as well.” Beautiful, Nins.

Our hosts laugh about their weeks, full of TikToks that force tears out of them and therapy sessions that, of course, always hit too close to home.

Then, they introduce a new segment called "Sob Story," where they’ll be sharing listener-submitted stories that tug at the heartstrings. This week’s tale comes from Arns' cousin Bev, who shares a particularly moving memory about her daughter Luna, who was diagnosed with SATB2 syndrome.

Bev recalls a moment at a family dinner when Arns' dad—whom Bev affectionately calls Tito Boy—said something so touching it had her ugly crying in the car afterward. He told her that Luna would never leave her side, that while other kids grow up and leave the nest, Luna would be her greatest blessing, always with her.

Nins and Arns immediately break out the tissues, as one does 5 minutes into a podcast episode. They reflect on how sometimes, when someone is going through something heavy, it’s easy to stay silent out of fear of saying the wrong thing. But Tito Boy nailed it, offering comfort that Bev still holds onto a year later. Great guy, that Tito Boy.

With a perfect balance of humor and heartfelt reflection, the introduction sets up an episode that’s equal parts tear-jerking and life-affirming, reminding everyone that it’s okay to cry—and to laugh—through all of life’s messiness.

Arns’ segment: Bending Reality by Victoria Song (3/10 tears)

In this segment of the episode, Arns dives into the sometimes uncomfortable, always messy world of feeling your feelings—a topic close to her heart and one she passionately advocates for. This particular segment centers onthe transformative power of Victoria Song's book, Bending Reality, which Arns credits with being an absolute life-changer, as most things are are to her (but no really this one was actually life-changing she swears!!!).

Arns begins by recounting how she first stumbled upon Song's work through a podcast episode of Under the Influence that her husband recommended, one that led her down a rabbit hole of emotional exploration. She gives a bit of Victoria Song’s background, stating that she went to Harvard and Yale (Nins interjects, “What—where’s that? Never heard of ‘em,” to which Arns says, “I think they’re in Texas…not sure, I'll look it up though and we'll link it in the show notes.”)

Derived from all Victoria Song’s takeaways from her various coaches and therapists, Bending Reality isn't just a book; it’s a workbook, an experience, and according to Arns, a portal to accessing expansion. (And what, pray tell, is expansion? Read on, dear listener, and you will see…..)

The book introduces the concept of "expansion versus contraction," and Arns is annoyingly fervent in her explanation. Expansion, she notes, is when we feel open, relaxed, and light, while contraction is the opposite—tightness, tension, and all those lovely emotions we’d rather not talk about but probably should.

In typical Arns fashion, she describes how contraction is often quietly (or not-so-quietly) making you miserable until you do something about it. And doing something about it, as Arns passionately emphasizes, involves moving the stuck energy in our bodies—whether through breath, movement, or, in her case, primal screams into a pillow. (Yes, she actually does this, and yes, she swears by it!!!)

The segment is punctuated with Arns’ vulnerability as she opens up about her own journey with repressed emotions, especially how her family’s fears shaped her worldview. She shares a poignant moment from her experience working through one of Song’s exercises—questions that dig deep into your subconscious beliefs about love, approval, and fear—that helped her verbalize the following false belief: “If you step outside, the world will hurt you. You have every reason to be afraid and not trust that you can take care of yourself and handle what the world throws at you.”

Arns admits that journaling through these questions brought her to tears, helping her uncover long-buried beliefs she hadn’t even realized were holding her back.

Throughout the segment, Arns repeatedly drives home the idea that the only way out of contraction is through it. Pretending you're okay doesn’t expand your emotional capacity; it just keeps you stuck in a loop of numbness, limiting your reality. The goal, she says, is to become familiar with the process of feeling shitty, expressing it, and then moving through it to come out stronger on the other side, your nervous system able to withstand more and more every time.

One of the most memorable moments comes when Arns recounts the first time she truly let herself scream—a raw, almost feral release of anger and frustration that left her with a sore throat (lol) but also a profound sense of relief. She acknowledges that while it might seem odd or even a bit dramatic, this practice has become a vital tool in her emotional toolkit, something she and her husband now regularly do to process their feelings.

Arns wraps up the segment by encouraging listeners to give themselves permission to feel their emotions fully. She stresses that this isn’t about wallowing in negativity but about creating space between you and the things that have hurt you, allowing you to move forward. Her hope is that by sharing her own journey, she can inspire others to start their own path toward emotional expansion, whether that means reading Bending Reality, screaming into a pillow, or simply allowing themselves to cry without judgment.

So next time life hits you with something hard, consider Victoria Song’s advice: feel it, let it out, then move forward with a little more space and a lot more clarity. (And if you do, Arns would love to hear about it!)

Nins’ segment: Taryn Smith's "The Heaven Receptionist (5/10 tears)

This week, Nins takes listeners on an emotional journey through the unexpectedly profound and heartwarming world of TikTok comedian Taryn Delanie Smith, focusing on her "Heaven Receptionist" skits.

Taryn, a lifestyle content creator from New York City, is known for her relatable humor and authentic personality. Beyond her comedic talents, she’s a former beauty queen—Miss New York 2022 and a runner-up in Miss America—who has captivated audiences not just with her stunning looks but with her genuine warmth and down-to-earth vibe. (sorry life is not fair!!!)

Nins introduces Taryn’s "Heaven Receptionist" character, Denise, who came to life in a setting known for generating incredible ideas—in the shower. With nothing more than a bathrobe, a towel on her head, and a stock image of heaven as a backdrop, Taryn filmed her first video where Denise manages the mundane yet incredibly hilarious tasks of checking souls into heaven. The skit, where Denise, in a thick New York accent, navigates the daily dramas of office life in the afterlife, quickly went viral because she’s really fucking funny.

But what started as a refreshing, humorous take on the afterlife took an emotional turn when one viewer, Jennifer Tavernier, commented that she wished she could see Denise greet her late mother, Gerry. This comment sparked something in Taryn, leading her to create a dedicated video where Denise warmly welcomes Gerry to heaven. Nins explains how Taryn portrays Denise with a surprising depth of kindness and empathy in this video, transforming a simple comedic character into a source of comfort for those grieving the loss of loved ones.

Nins dives into how this single video opened the floodgates, with people from alllllll over the world sharing stories of their lost loved ones, hoping for a similar tribute. Taryn received countless messages and requests, with people expressing how much her videos helped them imagine their loved ones being welcomed with warmth and care in the afterlife. This led Taryn to create more videos where Denise greets specific people who have passed away, each one resonating deeply with viewers who find solace in these imagined interactions.

In another video, Denise greets Ella Rose, who we assume is a small child. Denise welcomes her, saying, “You know, we're expecting someone very special today…” and when Ella Rose walks in, Denise is comforting her and letting her know she's okay. Denise says, “Some people you love very much—who love you very much—let me know that you'd be coming to see me today. I know the people you want to see are downstairs, but a long time from now (it's going to feel like a long time to them, but not to you)—they're going to be up here with you. In the meantime, you get to play. You can be anybody you want to be. But more importantly, you're never going to be alone.”

Nins emphasizes how Taryn’s ability to blend humor with deep empathy has turned these skits into something far more meaningful than she could’ve ever anticipated. While Taryn acknowledges that she can’t fulfill every request, she’s committed to continuing this character because she understands the impact it has on helping people through their grief. Nins also reflects on the power of Taryn’s work, highlighting how she’s been able to turn what could’ve been just another funny skit into a comforting ritual for those dealing with loss.

In closing, Nins marvels at how Taryn’s "Heaven Receptionist" series beautifully illustrates the balance between lightness and depth, humor and compassion. By making people laugh while also offering them a comforting vision of the afterlife, Taryn has created something truly special—a character who makes people feel seen and understood, even in their most vulnerable moments. Nins celebrates Taryn’s ability to bring joy and healing to so many, even during the darkest times, and expresses deep gratitude for the comfort she provides to those who need it most. If you ever read this—Taryn, you’re a perfect beautiful soul and our hosts love you sm!!

Conclusion

They did it again, folks! As they come to the end of their episode, Nins & Arns marvel at the "incredible synchronicity!!!!" of how their stories always seem to align so perfectly!!!, creating another episode that seamlessly weaves together their themes of vulnerability, joy, and the power of a good cry.

Our hosts express their gratitude to listeners, encouraging them to embrace their emotions and find comfort in knowing that there is always lightness after the tears. The hosts emphasize the importance of building a community of fellow "crybabies" who can share in these moments of connection and healing.

They also remind listeners to leave a review (again, 5 stars only), share the podcast with others, and reach out through email or social media, reinforcing how much they love hearing from their audience. They assure listeners they’ll be back next week. (“Don’t you worry!”)

Until then…brb crying :’)

nins & arns
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